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imagine a world without gender
a world where we are not confined
to the arbitrary interpretations of
an inexact biology. imagine we could
rise above the places
below our waists, reside instead in
graceful hands, in angled cheekbones
in some deeper conception than this
skewed perception of you.

I strip myself bare of unforgiving flesh,
squinting behind dim caverns of girl parts--
what are girl parts? all we have are beating
hearts.

I sit inside this trembling body, shoulder
to hunched shoulder,
stacks of bones too unsure
to be brave enough to tell you that
my gender will never fit on the plastic sign
above a bathroom door.

and I've never filled out a single
form where they didn't ask me for
me to choose one or the other,
sister or brother, father or
mother, i want to tell you but
I'm slipping between sidewalk cracks

walking down the street hearing wolf whistles and
I want to tell you please don't read between
the lines, erase the goddamn
lines, this has nothing to do with
lines.

and I want to tell you how
when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut,
because in space breasts do not matter
in space pink and blue don't matter, space suits
are white. but here alone, between the bathroom
doors I need to make a choice.
I want to tell you but instead I will
hide here a little longer,
paint my shoulder blades pink,
let my heart beat
girl into my veins,
even though I don't believe
it, even though I want to tell you.
but i don't want you to know.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-22
i want to tell you by ~Aquarius-Claire is an emotionally driven spoken word piece that leaves a taste of the writer's frustration in the mouth when read aloud and puts a sensitive subject to many into perspective. ( Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconskogsanda:
skogsanda Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
YES!!! break the socially constructed boundaries of stupidity!!! (= classification by sex/gender)
Reply
:iconnagneto:
Nagneto Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Personally I find this concept frightening, as we would trade individuality for unity. The only thing one can really can their own is their own body, and that alone transcends gender barriers. It's enough for me.
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Student Writer
I'm not really sure what you mean by this. What concept do you find frightening?
Reply
:iconnagneto:
Nagneto Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The idea of everyone being the same. It's maddening.

Good poem though.
Reply
:iconlinxinpei:
linxinpei Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Writer
The sense of defeat at the end. I love this beautiful poem - it's so accessible! Some parts of the poem (personally), I find, stumble a bit. Your beginning is strong, starting with an imperative, 'imagine'. In the course of the line I find 'arbitrary interpretations' a bit too direct. 'interpretation' in itself does suggest some uncertainty, and by adding 'arbitrary'... Perhaps it is that sense of bitterness you want to convey here on behalf of the speaker, in which case, it works. But in comparison to the lovely wordplay on an 'inexact biology', I can't help but feel that you're striking a bit too strong in 'arbitrary interpretation'. Perhaps 'we are not confined/ to a certain determination of' would be better? then there's a homophone on 'a certain'/ 'ascertain', and wordplay on 'determination': fate choosing one's sex, as well as biological judgement of sex. That's just me though :/

The ending of the second stanza - 'what girl parts? all we have are beating/ hearts', it felt like you're coming on a little too strong in terms of melodrama. Forgive me for saying this, but this phrase feels quite unsubtle and threatens to drag the beautiful poem down in maudlin sentimentality. Taste is subjecive, though, so perhaps I'm being nitpicky.

I liked how you formatted the poem, particularly the break between the fourth and fifth stanza - lovely! Splendid use of breaks to convey that sense of things breaking off, where the poem '(slips) between sidewalk cracks'.

All in all I love this poem and I wish to congratulate you on your well-deserved dd. I apologise if I come off as too strong or too blunt and offend you in any way. I'm off to check out more of your poems :) Good day to you!
Reply
:iconfuko666:
Fuko666 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
True. Beautiful. Sad.
<3
Reply
:iconkmj716:
KMJ716 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
i like it
Reply
:iconitalyxgermanyluv:
ItalyxGermanyLUV Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Writer
This is...touching. I think I may share this with my LGBT lunch support group. I think they may enjoy it. <3
Reply
:iconstuckinthemedium:
stuckinthemedium Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
*Nods head in approvel and hands over a huge box marked 'Box Containes: 50,000 kittens* Use them wisely
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
have traded them all away in poker. sry (referencing buffy if you don't know)
Reply
:iconstuckinthemedium:
stuckinthemedium Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Digital Artist
*crosses arms over chest* I am disappointed in you young one
Reply
:iconmccorgi:
mccorgi Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student
i am not cisgender but thank you for putting together words into a thing that make an incredible amount of sense to me
Reply
:iconnemonus:
Nemonus Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Good You've got some nice imagery here and don't fall into cliche by being too preachy. The artist's comment is worth attaching to the poem proper.
Reply
:iconpst1297:
pst1297 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Sweet Holy Sabbath! This poem is fantastic! I can feel that you poured it from a part of reality not touched by any other!
Reply
:iconhyenacub:
hyenacub Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I liked this one a lot...and I don't normally do poetry. The meter reminds me a bit of a Stephen King poem called "Paranoid: A Chant". (Which I also liked a lot :XD: )
Reply
:icondibs-new-beginnings:
Dibs-New-Beginnings Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Writer
I am not transgender, but I can feel your frustration. I think that this work was very clear in it's idea and execution. I love the flow of this poem, especially:

imagine we could
rise above the places
below our waists, reside instead in
graceful hands, in angled cheekbones
in some deeper conception than this
skewed perception of you.


Also, I always liked boy toys better. Why did I have to choose between normal and what I like?
Reply
:iconpyroshadow18:
PyroShadow18 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
This is such a beautiful piece of writing. You're beautiful for sharing this. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you did.
Take care.

~Josh~
Reply
:iconclashe:
Clashe Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Emotional and beautiful, truer words were never spoken :clap: Pardon me asking, is this poem about gender identity/being transgender? (I'm sorry if I misinterpreted it)
Reply
:iconclashe:
Clashe Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
well I guess the first time I read it I just interpreted it as being against gender stereotypes and norms and being your own person regardless of what people think you "should" be because of your gender, not necessarily being transgender. Either way, amazing poem
Reply
:iconsuperhyperjellybean:
superHyperjellyBean Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
To me this is beautiful. Not perfect, beautiful.
Reply
:iconkakasakuobessive:
KakaSakuObessive Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
One of the best examples of pure prose I've ever seen :)
Reply
:iconseptemberlocksmith:
SeptemberLocksmith Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Frankly I don't think the poem itself very good... But then, I'm kind of a purist I guess...
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If you would like to question the selection of the piece as a DD, there's a process for that. Otherwise, I'd ask the artist if she wants a critique. :)
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*s/he/<third pronoun I don't know in English>...just realised this is possibly the most ironic place to make that assumption.
Reply
:iconavatarwolf13:
AvatarWolf13 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Criticism without actual feedback is pretty much a waste of time and space.
Reply
:iconseptemberlocksmith:
SeptemberLocksmith Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I was actually just hoping someone would ask... xP
Reply
:iconavatarwolf13:
AvatarWolf13 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, I am asking, then.
Reply
:iconseptemberlocksmith:
SeptemberLocksmith Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Ehh, I dunno. like I said, I'm a purist... I actually think it's kind of silly to like something because of what it's about as opposed to its quality...
Reply
:iconcoeb:
Coeb Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Quality and emotion are two incredibly different things. If it was all about the quality, you would find more people writing the same thing over and over and over again, just with a slightly different quality to them. Do you realize how monotone that would be?

Actually, the rag-tag unstructured way of this poem makes it more emotional and more relatable, as the way it doesn't all have cut and paste fixed stanzas dishes out how much frustration the writer is feeling, to the point they just don't care about the way the lines are presented.

Writing is art, but it's not physical painting. In painting, your painting colors and quality and feelings into a picture, in writing you cant show someone an image, they have to see it in their mind. Another way of helping them see everything in their mind is the way you position your words. Poetry is never about how it looks, it's about how it feels.
Reply
:iconseptemberlocksmith:
SeptemberLocksmith Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
I don't know why you're saying this
Reply
:iconcoeb:
Coeb Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
I'm saying it so you aren't ignorant to why others like this so much, so you don't get into an arguement based on opinions.

If you didn't get it, you didn't have to reply.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconfreakyfredover9000:
FreakyFredOver9000 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Utterly lovely...
Reply
:iconkittylevin:
KittyLevin Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
But without gender, declension would go all to hell!
Reply
:iconfreakyfredover9000:
FreakyFredOver9000 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It is a poem about being Transgendered
Reply
:iconkittylevin:
KittyLevin Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My comment was a joke about a different definition of "gender".
Reply
:iconnerysghemor:
NerysGhemor Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I am not transgendered, but I am very, very fed up with gender and orientation stereotypes that try to tell me there's only one way to be a straight woman. Even at Walgreen's recently I saw the birthday cards for little kids were so gender-segregated it sends a scary message to children. I saw an awesome card for the Clone Wars series, only to find to my dismay it had been filed under the category of "BOY BIRTHDAY." What? A girl can't enjoy Star Wars? Really, in 2012? We're supposed to be past this! It starts so young. And it doesn't get any better as you get older.
Reply
:iconcarinakern:
carinakern Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
That reminded me of a video I saw a while ago. Some parents recorded their little girl at a market, standing in the toys section and she was asking out loud "why are the girl's toys all pink and boring, while the boy's toys are colorful and fun?".
And she was so absolutely right, wasn't she? I'm glad she wasn't influenced to love some kind of toy without thinking.
Reply
:iconnerysghemor:
NerysGhemor Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Unfortunately for me, when I was little I got the message from toy commercials that there were certain toys I should and should not ask for. My mom was actually kind of sad when I told her, when I got older, that I'd never expressed an interest in some of those things.

That said, they DID get me K'Nex, which I directly credit for inspiring me to write. I could build my own toys, action figures, and scenarios, and as I got older, the scenarios got more and more complex until I realized I ought to go write some of that stuff down. K'Nex has made more of an effort to be gender-neutral than Lego. Unfortunately I'd say K'Nex are more often given to boys than girls, but those girls who do get them have lots of fun.
Reply
:iconwitchvine:
WitchVine Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Very well expressed, even if some people don't get it at all.
Reply
:iconart-snob-solutions:
Art-Snob-Solutions Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Meanwhile, people are having actual problems.
Reply
:iconwitchvine:
WitchVine Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Wow. Really? Check that privilege, why don't you?
Reply
:iconkaribous-boutique:
karibous-boutique Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, consider the source... "Art-Snob-Solutions." When "Snob" is in the name, I think the comment can be taken with generous amount of salt. And, ya know... *ehm* Meanwhile, people have actual compassion. Besides, I sincerely doubt it's privilege that needs checking -- probably just insecurity and prejudice.
Reply
:iconwitchvine:
WitchVine Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I wasn't going to say anything about the username...lol
Reply
:iconkaribous-boutique:
karibous-boutique Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:giggle:
Reply
:iconcoeb:
Coeb Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
This is a problem too.
I'm a girl who since I was little wanted to be a boy. I felt like I was the target of sexism all around while I grew up and tried to kill myself because I knew I could never get out of this trapped cage of a body. Different people have different problems, and compared to the person, all situations are equal in feeling and impact. Don't regard this as something not important - it may not be to you, but it's been the cause of death for many. Be grateful your happy with your body, because when your not, there's nothing you can do about it. It isn't like you can choose which gender you are born. Most transgenders have to live their lives being hated by families and friends for what they did.

Maybe this poem wasn't about that, but it came across as many things to me, and that was one of them. Dont judge so freely until you've been put in their shoes.
Reply
:iconcuttheshadowdemon:
Cuttheshadowdemon Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
This is a great poem!!
Reply
:iconanjelleshadow:
anjelleshadow Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Good poem, nice wording, but I think it's too exaggerated. There are two genders for procreation. Without genders we would not exist. That makes them kind of important. But other than that I've never found any difference between males and females. Well, that's not true. The makeup of male and female brains and bodies is quite different and explains all of the differences in the genders, but really it's you who decides if you're going to make genders a big deal. Yeah, women have been oppressed in the past, but much less so today. There's always going to be discrimination, but gender is the least of our problems in that aspect. I don't care what gender I am. I'm a girl, but so what? I like both male and female things, not really specific towards one. I treat my male and female friends the same and yeah I use the girl's public restroom but I don't find that to be a big deal. I don't even notice.

Well, my opinion anyways. It is well written, though, and I do like it.
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Writer
There are two sexes for procreation. Gender's in the head, darling.
Reply
:iconanjelleshadow:
anjelleshadow Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Gender in the head is also different between sexes. And yes, there's gender identity which has to do with both. But that wasn't what I was talking about.
Reply
:iconaquarius-claire:
Aquarius-Claire Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student Writer
all I'm saying is that it's nice to not care what gender you are or to think they're all the same. You're cisgendered and you've never experienced the side of gender where you DO give a fuck about it, and it's beyond being a tomboy or a femmy guy, it's different.
Reply
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Submitted on
December 16, 2011
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